Thursday, May 15, 2008

If You Don't Stand For Something... (Part 2)

Are you listening?

I'm going to give you a couple of quick exercises, that you will want to participate in. This will greatly enhance your listening skills and therefore allow you to connect better with everyone around you.

Photo by Declan McCullagh

This is part 2 - To read part 1 please CLICK HERE

Now, at the risk of sounding like a cliche, your listening skills can greatly enhance your success. Not just your financial success but the success of your relationships, your career and even your love life.

The basic premise is that people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. This principle goes beyond borders, gender, race and religion. So, I ask you... are you in it for you? Or, are you truly interested in listening to the other person?

Listening is not just hearing. True listening is understanding their circumstances. Being there with them in the present as they describe the situation they are in. You want to listen to them.

Hearing someone is the mere act of taking in the words but not connecting to what the other person is saying because you are too busy thinking about what you are going to say next.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where you are trying to sell someone on your idea, your concept, your belief or your merchandise be sure that you are connecting with them by listening to them. Completely indulge your senses into listening to that person. Stay with them. Stay in the moment. Remain steadfast. Let your mind concentrate on their words and you will succeed.


The following exercise will help you increase your auditory senses. Repeating this exercise on a daily basis (especially right before you know you are going to be in a "selling" situation) will greatly enhance your interactions with other people.

1. Open the comment section of this post and type all of the sounds that you can hear around you right now. Mute the TV if it is on. Be still. Concentrate, and really listen to each sound around you. Take a deep breath, hold it and exhale slowly, right now. This will give your blood cells a surge of oxygen and enhance all of your senses. I know you are probably thinking, I don't have time for this right now, I'll come back later, but I challenge you to stay with it because that's the whole point! It will only take a minute or two and you will feel extremely focused after you are done with this exercise and ready to take on whatever task you face.

Once you have completed the previous exercise, you are now ready to see your new listening skills in action.

2. Using the same technique that you used during exercise number one, the next time you find yourself in a conversation, stop talking, and start listening. Listen as intently as you did during exercise number one. But this time, focus directly on their voice. Listen to every word they are saying. Try to "get" them. To fully understand them. Mentally keep track of how different this feels when you truly connect with that other person. Suddenly you see yourself connecting with outher people on a deeper, more fullfiling way than you ever have before.

I challenge you to share this post with your significant other, your children and other friends and loved ones whom you would like to have a closer relationship with. I look forward to reading your comments.


  1. I love this post. I often talk about the same stuff when I teach my clients. Two ears and one mouth - so you can listen twice as much as you speak!